To sleep, perchance to dream

Since you've all already heard about my morning "false starts", so to speak, I'm going just a bit further back in my search more the most bizarre dream I have in recent memory, and here it is. Good luck going Freud on this monster.

There is a massive yellow water slide stretching comically into a cel-shaded sky (like from The Legend of Zelda : Windwaker). I'm sliding down this massive water slide at a breakneck pace. I know this because the pattern on the slide is going by very quickly. I hear somebody say something behind me and I turn around to look. Perryn (a friend of mine) is sliding down right behind me. She keeps on asking me questions but I cannot hear her so I keep screaming "WHAT?". We get to the bottom of the slide and land with an epic splash in the middle of a very large lake. I lose track of her during the splash. I start swimming towards the end of the lake opposite the water slide, which fades from view (I glance over my shoulder) as I swim. I eventually reach the wooded shoreline and climb out of the water. I am dry instantly. Also, I'm on a dirt road in the middle of the woods, without having taken a step. I am accompanied by several people, of whom I am the leader. We reach an old style roofed, wooden bridge and pause. There is another group of people, in an almost mirror-image arrangement from my own group. They are led by a man in black armour wielding a glowing translucent red sword. My group and his group start to fight using medieval style weapons. He and I walk towards each other in the middle of the fray. I am armed with naught but a plastic knife, like from the Student Union Cafe. I duck under the first swing of his sword and plunge the knife deep into his face. While he reels back I pick up a rock off the ground and smash it full force into the side of his head. It squishes like an over-ripe tomato. My group seems the have either finished off or chased away his, as they aren't fighting anymore. I pick up his sword and it glows a fierce blue as soon as my fingers touch the hilt. My group cheers. They break into groups and start talking with one another. I walk amongst the groups, speaking to each one in turn. I look up the path and Matt (another... I don't want to say friend, but somebody I know) is walking towards me. He is dressed in black goth pants and a fishnet shirt (which he actually owns so that's not my idea) and has a pair of nun-chucks hanging off either hip. He talks to me about how he has spend the last 16 years in training to be worthy of wielding the crystal-sword that I got from the bad guy. I ask him if he's ready. He says yes. I hand him the sword and it's colour changes. It is now a pale blue with a some red at the bottom. I tell him that he was not mastered his emotions yet, which is indicated by the red on the blade. It glows fiercer as I tell him this, as if proving my point. He says, in a very low voice, that the Crystal-sword WILL be his and that he will not rest until he possesses it. I tell him, in a light joking voice, "better luck next time, kid." He stalks off down the path from whence he came. The dream ends.

*let it be noted that my perceptions during this dream change from first person to third person from scene to scene, I would indicate the changes here if I remembered them*
*please also note that this dream was had on a saturday night after much activity, so to speak, so that may account for some of it's... interesting themes*